The Expatriate Minister

My call story is different from most people’s. I like to say that while many Christians and pastors have “Damascus road” experiences–while on the road to the wrong place with wrong intentions, suddenly experiencing the power of the risen Christ in blinding light and booming voice–my journey of faith & calling has been more of an “Emmaus road” one. As I made my way already as a person of faith, I had a growing understanding of who I was actually travelling with and what I was being asked to do, that culminated inevitably in a life-changing experience.

I was a high school senior, and was going to a playoff football game one of my best friends was playing in. My mom, a lifelong football fan, and I stopped for dinner near the neutral stadium, and over burgers & fries at Chili’s, we somehow got into the discussion of what I wanted to be when I grew up.  I ran down the options: while architecture was appealing to me as a child, way too much work to get to the point of designing what I wanted to do; I loved music, but as an amateur, not a professional; ministry & pastoral work would be intriguing, but I hadn’t been called to that work; and so engineering made the most sense. But as I settled into classes at Rice the following fall I was dissatisfied. And though to follow my father‘s work at NASA would have been amazing, I neither loved engineering nor was great at it.

This crisis of vocation, while not a crisis of faith, put me into a months-long period of confusion. My roommate probably got tired of me coming back to the room each day with a new theory about what I would like to be or do. I finally sat down with the chair of Rice’s Religious Studies program, whom I knew from outside the classroom, and asked about the RELI department. And as I spoke with him several times–deciding finally to transfer to that major without having taken a class in it before!–and with trusted friends, my family, and my campus minister it became increasingly clear to me that I was called to ordained ministry.

It wasn’t easy to follow that call. I had to throw all of my truly excellent plans out the window and start over without a plan. I had to refine and focus the call, which led to me being one of the worst summer interns in the history of youth ministry as well as affirmations of me as preacher, teacher, and pastoral presence. I became insufferable as  I orated on the tragedy of the miniscule. I messed up and embarassed myself and others more times than I can recount. I learned to live with doubt, not certainty, and had to rely on God through faith instead of my own plans.

And yet, it was the easiest thing to do in the world, because it resonated so deeply with who I was. It gave meaning to all those times when I felt isolated or alone, because it helped me see those seasons as experiences of being set apart for something different, and gifted me with compassion and connection for those who are vulnerable and on the margins. It fueled passions I had always kept small-tended deep inside, and enflamed those which I didn’t even know I had. And along the way I met my best friend and my wife; I’m still making lifelong, transformative relationships through this call.

Answering a call to follow in the ministry of Jesus Christ made me strange to some, and certainly has made me feel like a stranger in the middle of the geography, culture, and people I’ve come from and been sent to.  But it’s been a journey that has led me to ministry in places and with people I never would have expected, and made me an instrument of the reconciliation wrought by the Spirit. And it all began with a heart that perhaps didn’t always recognize Jesus or his call, but was willing to say, “Stay with us, because it is almost evening and the day is now nearly over.”

Do you experience that yearning? Are you called to ministry? If you are, then the time to answer it is now. Talk with a pastor, a youth counselor or campus ministry leader, a family member or mentor from your faith community. And know that the road you’re about to go down won’t just change your life–it is your life.

One more thought: One of the most beneficial and important experiences as I clarified and refined my call was going to Exploration. If you’re a young adult reading this (hi!), then I’d like to invite you to go to the Exploration event in Dallas, TX this November. Learn more about why you should go and how that can happen through the Exploration website.